D&C 31

Have you ever felt like a scripture was meant just for you?

That the words the prophets wrote ages ago was transcribed to assist you in the midst of the trial you are currently in?

Or maybe you are more humble and you simply believe that specific scripture which is aiding you in a moment of need was written generally enough to assist many in their trials which are common to many. 

Regardless of how you feel about personal revelation being given through scriptures or how you believe it is given, I have an experience that has meant a lot to me.

Flashback to November 2015.

It was right after my 20th birthday and I was super sick.

(Word to the wise: Maybe running around DC with wet hair after going and doing baptisms in the winter is a bad idea, or maybe you should just blow dry your hair first so you don't get sick)

And I felt that I needed a blessing.

I was sick.

I was stressed.

And I was excited about working on my mission papers and preparing for a mission.

But I was hesitant.

There were family issues happening back at home that worried me.

And I didn't feel like I was in a good enough place at the time to be a good missionary. 

So I texted my home teacher.

And we arranged a time and place to meet. 

I headed down to the institute building.

In my sweats.

With no makeup and nasty hair.

Feeling absolutely horrible.

As I walked into the building I wanted to turn back and just go home.

To the point where it took all of my strength to walk into the classroom where my home teachers sat.

I made it into the room and sat down.

Thinking to myself I just needed to make it through the blessing and go.

My home teacher however asked if they could leave a message with me before the blessing.

Internally I groaned because all I wanted was to go back to bed.

Instead I said sure and settled into the chair.

My home teacher doesn't know this but I can't remember what the blessing they gave me that night said.

But I do remember the lesson he gave and the scriptures he shared.

Very few people knew what trials I was going through at the time.

How much I was struggling.

And what my struggles were.

They didn't know that the trials my family were going through at home made me check flights back to Canada every day, wanting to withdrawal from classes and be with them.

Somehow I made it through.

And I am so grateful Heavenly Father saw it fit that I be home for a few months,

Preparing for a mission,

And being with my family.

But at the time my home teacher had no idea what was happening with me.

Which is why I am so grateful he listened to the Spirit.

Because what he said that night was a direct answer to prayer.

We talked about missionary work and he shared with me some scriptures from D&C 30.

But then we got to D&C 31.

And he asked me to insert my own name into the scripture.

And this is what it said.

Emma, my daughter, blessed are you because of your faith in my work.

Behold, you have had many afflictions because of your family; nevertheless, I will bless you and your family, yea, your little ones; and the day cometh that they will believe and know the truth and be one with you in my church.

Lift up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed, and you shall declare glad tidings of great joy unto this generation. 

You shall declare the things which have been revealed to my servant, Joseph Smith, Jun. 

You shall begin to preach from this time forth, yea, to reap in the field which is white already to be burned.

Therefore, thrust in your sickle with all your soul, and your sins are forgiven you, and you shall be laden with sheaves upon your back, for the laborer is worthy of her hire.

Wherefore, your family shall live.

Behold, verily I say unto you. go from them only for a little time, and declare my word, and I will prepare a place for them. 

Yea, I will open the hearts of the people, and they will receive you. 

And I will establish a church by your hand;

And you shall strengthen them and prepare them against the time when they shall be gathered.

Be patient in afflictions, revile not against those that revile. 

Govern your house in meekness and be steadfast. 

Behold I say unto you that you shall be a physician unto the church, 

but not unto the world for they will not receive you.

Go your way whithersoever I will, and it shall be given you by the Comforter what you shall do and whither you shall go.

Pray always, lest you enter into temptation and lose your reward. 

Be faithful unto the end, and lo, I am with you. 

These words are not of man nor of men, but of me, even Jesus Christ, your Redeemer, by the will of the Father. 

Amen.

Now that is a lot.And a lot to process and understand.But when I heard it, line after line were answered prayers.I took the liberty of underlining the parts that stood out to me and were, what I felt to be answers to prayers.

Some people know, some people don't but my sister Elle was in the hospital for most of 2015 and almost died.

 And while that was going on, I was at school in Virginia.

 Because of that experience I was terrified of something happening while I was on my mission, and not being there if something did happened.

These thoughts especially plagued me at the time I went and met with my home teacher.

So to have that promise, that my family would live, brought me to tears.

(Side note: Elle is doing a lot better now, and we are regularly adventuring these days)

To be told that the laborer is worthy of her hire, at a time I was worried I wasn't worthy and ready to be a missionary.

To be promised that the Comforter would be with me, guiding me in what to do and where to go.

And the fact it says the Comforter and not the Spirit or the Holy Ghost, but to have the name used be the Comforter, especially in regards to familial worries is a powerful witness to me.

But how the scripture ends is perhaps the most telling.

That these words are not of man or men, but are of Jesus Christ by the will of the Father.

To me it was a testament that my home teacher didn't randomly flip open a scripture and read it.

But that this was not of man. 

This was of my Savior and meant for me.

And for Thomas Marsh, the first recipient of the blessings of this scripture.

And whomever else has found comfort and strength in this section of scripture.

I don't know if anyone else will find this story interesting.

Or if it just rambles along.

But this story is a part of my testimony.

Through this experience I gained a testimony of answers being found in the scriptures.

And my testimony of the truthfulness of the scriptures was strengthened.

This also is the story of how I found my mission scripture.

D&C 31:3

Lift up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed, and you shall declare glad tidings of great joy unto this generation. 

My heart is lifted up.

The hour of my mission is finally here.

I have faith that my tongue will be loosened.

And I am ready and willing to declare these glad tidings of great joy that have changed my life

Right now to this generation.

Because finally it's time.

#sisteratwoodatlast

What's your status?

In case you are wondering what is happening...

I HAVE AN UPDATE!

On Friday I went and met with my LDS Family Services counselor.

A few weeks back I went and did HOURS of testing.

Something like 1000 questions in 3 hrs time.

It was exhausting.

Last week my results came back from Salt Lake City.

(This stock photo shows how I feel about this)

And so the tests I took were standard psychology tests that were then evaluated by 

*insert name of whoever decides whether I'm mentally sound enough to be a missionary*

Then my results were measured against the results of missionaries who have come home early from their missions to see how likely it is that I would come home.

(Gulp)

From what I understood there are 9 different warning signs of missionaries coming home on this test.

General Anxiety

OCD behaviors

Previous traumatic experiences

Homesickness

....

Other ones I can't remember

And that's just on the anxiety scale I was being tested on.

But if there were more than 5 things that your score was high on you were flagged as a potential problem.

I had 6...

I know.

So I talked with my counselor to understand what that meant.

And to discover if I could still go.

We discussed coping strategies for anxiety.

And went over my whole history of anxiety disorder...

But I won't keep you waiting any longer with the minutia.

I CAN GO ON A MISSION!

He filled out a positive recommendation stating that he believed I would be a good missionary.

And sent it in to Salt Lake.

So now I am OFFICIALLY WAITING FOR MY CALL!

Here's the thing though.

At 19 I would not have been approved to go.

Did I know that at 19?
NOPE.

I was so mad.

So sad.
So confused as to why I was supposed to wait.

But as I have talked to my family doctor, my bishops, my stake president, my counselor

 it has become clear.

And all of them have testified of this.

I am ready to go at 20.

And in spite of the concerns my anxiety disorder brings I will be able to serve.

Why?

Because I went to school for a year and a half.

Because I travelled 3000 miles away from home.

I went to Virginia.

I was Director of Soccer Operations.

I was an RA.

I can go now because I not only survived in a new environment.

I thrived.

So,

Dear 18 year old Emma,

Still in High School,

Going on splits every week with the Sister Missionaries,

Crying as you apply to Southern Virginia University,

Because going means delaying your mission...

I'm not sure if I want to hug you or slap you.

Because you went to SVU you can go on a mission.

You are so young. 

You have so much to learn.

And you will.

There is a lot of tears ahead.

There is homesickness.

There is a lot more learning than simply what you'll learn in your courses.

Gaining an understanding of the enabling power of the atonement.

Relying on the Holy Ghost.

Trusting.

Praying earnestly.

Becoming someone who can leave her home.

And serve as a missionary.

Dear 19 year old Emma.

You returned to SVU for another school year in faith.

Only to realize while you were there that it was time to serve a mission.

And your heart broke leaving your Virginia life.

Your heart broke leaving the residents in your stewardship.

It broke saying goodbye to your team for two years.

And it broke saying goodbye to your SVU family.

I am so proud of you.

You can do hard things.

There will be a lot of goodbyes on your mission you are now more prepared for.

You rose to the challenges you had.

And some challenges you lost.

But you won so many.

Dear 20 year old Emma.

HALLEFREAKINLUIA.

And congratulations.

Because it is Thursday.

And after a lifetime of waiting.

And years of preparing.

And months of finalizing.

And weeks of anticipation.

And days of impatience.

Today your call is in the pile of those to be issued.

Today your photo is on a computer screen in Salt Lake City in the mission department.

Today, an apostle of the Lord is being lead by the spirit to send you where you are needed.

Today, your mission call is being issued.

Congratulations Sister Atwood.

Also I saw this on instagram yesterday.

And it made me laugh.

(I also should add I am emotionally prepared for my name to be at the bottom of the list and I don't actually get assigned till next week. But the excitement was too great not to share.)