Here I Am

I am overjoyed to be writing the first post on this blog. 

My mission story started over 3 years ago, and I don't even have a mission call yet!

For the whole story follow this link:

The Story...

Once you've read it, or if you are already caught up on what is going on I'll give you the latest.

Obviously I've been planning on a mission for a while.

However, now in December of 2015 this blog is finally going up. 

What changed?

(This is me by the way)

September of 2015 was difficult to say the least. 

I was struggling all around but especially with temptations. 

I didn't want to go to church.

I didn't want to read the scriptures.

I didn't want to pray.

And all of that excitement I had to go on a mission?
GONE.

Instead of *happy missionary feelings* I felt fear.

In my head I have a list of all the reasons I should not go on a mission. 

That list has existed since I first became serious about the idea of serving.

And that list and I, we co-exist just fine. 

It tells me why I shouldn't leave.

I tell it why I should.

Maybe it isn't the best brain roommate situation but we are fine together. 

However, this list went from quietly watching Netflix in its bed every day, and only occasionally saying hi or taking a potty break to BEING THE WORST ROOMMATE EVER.

It LEFT ITS DIRTY DISHES IN THE SINK.

IT PLAYED MUSIC ALL THE TIME AND LOUDLY TOO.

IT INVITED OVER "FRIENDS" I'D NEVER MET.

Kind of a weird analogy but I'm a Resident Advisor so roommate problems is what I know.

This list in my head poisoned all my good mission thoughts.

It repeated constantly in my mind. 

And it led to new thoughts of why I shouldn't go that I had never considered before.

(See that connection of the analogy to reality? Pretty clever huh?)

Anyways. 

My list in no particular order:
Money

Can't leave family for 18 months

Can't leave friends

What if friends find better friends than you?

Soccer

Not good at speaking to people

SVU

Am I really worthy

Introvert=can't be with a companion 24/7

Leaving my residents

Health issues

Etc...

This list grew longer and became a mountain I could not pass.

So one day I prayed and asked, why?
Why were all these things, which had always worried me, now something that terrified me?

Why now?

And I was flooded with peace.

I heard a voice in my head tell me that the reason all of the minor worries were now mountains was because it was time for me to go. 

Those fears were finally a reality.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I rationalized of course.

Time to go=When I want to go

Right?

So I told myself summer, I would leave in the summer.

And life continued on...

October comes and I am happily living my life one day, 

Sitting in the cafeteria, 

Talking to Reva...

When this beauty walks over and says hi.

(This is Jordan)

We chat for a minute and as she walks away Reva said something to me.

She said, "Jordan would make a fantastic RA."

I joked asking who she was going to fire,

(Reva is my boss BTW)

And Reva said that she would be a perfect replacement for me when I leave on my mission next fall.

I agreed and got up to leave.

As I walked out the door there was a message on my phone. 

Now nothing strange about me getting a message,
But it was from Marnie, one of my favourite people of all time, and my old YW president. 

It said;

Hey! How are things going? I really don't mean to be nosy or anything, but for a couple of weeks now I have felt like I should tell you to get your mission papers in! None of my business, right! You are doing fabulous where you are, I know. I have no idea why, so??? Know I love you and know you are always amazing!

Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttt.....

She said that and the Spirit just kind of punched me in my lungs. 

Immediately I knew that I needed to get started on my mission papers ASAP.

But, but, but....

I needed a bit of time to process everything.

So I walked my merry way to the church.

And I sat in the chapel for a couple good hours.

And prayed.

And cried.

Both sad and happy tears.

I texted my best friend Kadee who came and sat with me as I sorted this all out. 

(This is Kadee, we love her)

And together we cried (Sad tears).

And laughed.

And cried (Happy tears).

And the stinker. 

She said she wasn't surprised!
She said that since day 1 of this semester she knew I was going to be leaving soon.

And it turns out everyone felt that way.

Lame...

But I digress.

That evening I went to a previously arranged meeting with my bishop.

Funny how things like that work out, isn't it?

So I sat down and told him I was going on a mission. 

AND HE WAS SO EXCITED!

Time goes on, 

Get permission from my home ward bishop to start my papers, 

Make a new friend who also is going on a mission!
Together her and I were mission buddies and we worked on our papers simultaneously.

(Meet Meredith)
((This is an actual photo of us working on our papers together))

I meet with my bishop some more.

Pass the interview questions.

And continue meeting with him in preparation to attend the temple.

IMPORTANT SIDENOTE:

It has always been important to me that when I go to the temple and receive my endowments it is because the time is right and I am ready to go. 

Not because I'm about to get married.

Not because I'm leaving on a mission.

This isn't the rule or the best way to do things, but for me this was important. 

So the coincidence that I was already meeting with my bishop?
On that day I realized I was about to go on a mission?

My real reason in meeting with him was to discuss going to the temple.

I did get sidetracked for a while but I refocused!

(Ignore the exhaustion in my face, it's merely end of semester woes)

AND I GOT MY RECOMMEND!

So now here we are.

It is December 10th, 2015.

And I, Sister Emma Noel Atwood am on my way to being a missionary.

I have two finals over the next two days.

I fly home in two days.

In four days I get my dental done.
In five days I meet with my home ward bishop. 

In six days I will get my physical done.

In seven days I meet with my stake president.

One week from today I will hopefully be submitting my papers.

I am so excited to be a missionary.

I love the gospel.

I love this church.

And I am ready to teach and preach and do what missionaries do!